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What keeps you up at night?

Story by Paula Jhea Sison




I remember that line from one of Nicholas Sparks’ book-turned-movie, Dear John, saying, “No matter where it is in the sky. No matter where you are in the world… the moon is never bigger than your thumb”. Somehow, this line gave me a sense of security that somewhere out there, someone sees the same things as me and that someone feels the same emotions as I do.


Solitude and peace come with night. It is the time when comfort of knowing that you could be invisible to the world takes place. It is a moment of serenity and silence.


For some, the night is the time when fear cripples the mind– our demons whisper, our ordeals relive. The deafening silence of nighttime is not loud enough to erase all the painful memories that keep coming back. The silence speaks a million words. I guess we could never judge people who are afraid of the dark. Its provoking mystery is sometimes too much to handle.


But let me ask you, what keeps you up at night?


We all have different reasons why we are wide awake at night. Some do school requirements while others are busy securing their livelihood. Certain people want to spend their nights with their families, others prefer to drink with their friends while some choose to be alone. However, productive or unproductive, these nights matter to us.


Oftentimes, our thoughts flood our minds during night time – when the stars start shining, when silence envelops us, and when we are alone. These memories may bring joy and contentment. Yet, some memories can also make you want to forget. But the thing is, what we feel and experience, our inner thoughts, and the reasons for our sleepless nights, these are all short-lived.


It’s okay.


The taunting vibe the night gives might make you feel scared. But it is okay.

Give yourself time to reflect on what you feel. Things may get too draining tonight but do not be afraid to talk about it. Learn how to communicate what you feel with someone you trust. Do not forget that you are not alone and someone can truly understand you.


Admitting that you are not okay does not make you weak. What you feel is way more important than what others will think of you. We all pass through rough roads and if you happen to pass by those roads tonight, know that it is okay.


Our struggles in our lives may differ in some ways but do not forget that it does not last. Nothing exists without struggle. We fight battles every day and we win some, we lose some. Replay those triumphs tonight and discover the lessons of our failures.


It is okay to feel anything right now. Let it be happiness, sadness, fear, anger, or disgust. It is okay and everything is going to be okay.


Seize the moment.


You will always be more than what you feel tonight but it is actually important that you label your emotions. Pause for a moment and capture your thoughts. Learn to exist in the moment.


You don’t have to worry about the worst possible scenario that might happen tomorrow. Pay attention to what you are feeling right now– the smell of your room, the taste of beer, the cold night breeze, and the comforting silence. Focus on who you are at this moment because tomorrow is going to be another day.


Learn to appreciate the present. Do not dwell too much on the past. Letting go of your doubts is the best way to live in the present. Remember the memories that made you smile. Throw things that remind you of your regrets. Delete the text messages that caused you to doubt yourself. Learn how to love who you are right now and try not to worry about the future. Listen to what your heart and mind wants at this time. Learn how to take calculated risks but don’t forget to be spontaneous, too. Make the most out of this moment.


Know what your heart desires. Your inner thoughts can be overwhelming yet it can also give you a sense of excitement. Your fears may stop you from doing what you love but right now, discover what your heart tells you to. Know what your heart wants and what it needs because I am sure that it will give you peace and happiness.


You are gonna make it.


Small steps matter.


Your smiles while recalling how your day went smoothly and your tears from the disappointments you faced today will make up who you are one day. Tonight might be a mix of all the emotions you could ever feel and you may be tired of hearing, "One day, it is going to be okay," but I assure you that there are many reasons for you to keep going.


One day you will understand why you felt this way tonight and that one day might be tomorrow when you wake up.


The things that keep us up at night are the things that also keep us alive at morning. Remember that if you are having one of those nights, it is just short-lived. Whether you may be happy or sad, do not forget to appreciate the feeling.


These are the nights you don’t want to pass by and don’t want to forget because these are the nights that will teach you bigger lessons in life. One day you will look back and be glad that this happened and you will be thankful that you felt that feeling and let this night pass by.

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